Yet another self-inser- BANG! Not!
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: What happens when you toss an OC into a story...then threaten to kill him if he dosen't make the story MORE interesting and to rip his hear out if he becomes another 'Scrappy? Want to see how this psychological experiment plays out? READ ON! Major AU! A story idea by Wolvenstrom


**Yet another self-inser- BANG! Not!**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Nightmare, absolute nightmare...that was what was going through the babies mind...for it was no mere baby..it was a baby with the mental capacity and knowledge of an older teen...who was forced to experience the 'joy' of coming out of his mom's womb...and being treated like a helpless baby...which he WAS.

Oh, and also there was an eldritch abomination who apparently only he could see lurking about. Slenderman laughed as he watched the scene, **"Nothing warms the cockles of my heart** (pulls out a heart encrusted with cockles from somewhere) **like watching a mother try to feed her baby...and for the baby to feel shame and humiliation cause I stuck a grown ass boy in there."**

The 'boy' tried to remember what his life was like BEFORE he'd 'awoke' in the womb...but he remembered nothing! Nothing at all...well...nothing except the knowledge of the entire 'loud house' TV series...come to think of it...wasn't his 'mom' Mrs. Loud?

Meanwhile, Mr and Mrs Loud had grown concerned over their newborn child when he didn't cry 'during' child birth..so they had a doctor look him over. They are then gathered to deliver some bad news.

"I'm afraid your son has no vocal cords." Explained the doctor.

Lynn Sr. Looked concerned, "So their damaged? Just not developed right? How much will this cost to Ow!" His wife just kicked him.

"This is our son Lynn. It doesn't matter the price. Dad can look after the kids a little more while we work for the cost." Said Rita.

The doctor shook his head, "No Mrs Loud that won't be needed. Your son's vocal cords aren't damaged, they're absent. Your son doesn't 'have' any vocal cords."

The baby in his mothers arms stares at the man in as much horror as his tiny little face can emote. _"Wait. Is he saying that I'll never be able to speak!?"_ Thinks the baby to himself. "Wait. Are you saying that he'll never be able to speak!?" Asked Lynn Sr. The doctor nodded sadly, "Yes. I'm saying he'll never be able to speak."

The baby panicked, "...I'm a baby in the Loudest family on TV, I can't speak, This can't get any w...nope. Not going there."

 **"Too late, partials accepted."** Whispered Slenderman.

...

When they get back to the family while they were getting checked. They find Albert and the rest of their kids occupying an otherwise empty waiting room. Everyone is at their wits end. Lana and Lola wouldn't stop wailing and bawling no matter what, which immediately stop when they see their brother. Who they latch onto like limpets, with many 'awwwws' to go around. They later fall asleep gripping him. Refusing to give him any room to move.

 _"I hope they grow out of this."_ Thinks the baby.

 **"Nope".** Mocks Slenderman.

 _"Dangit"_

It is then that Slenderman reveals his plan for him...after Lisa is born- but no Lilly -and is allowed to grow to her 'Cannon' age...the events of the show will begin as proper...at which point he'll be put to work.

He is then charged by Slender man to 'not make this like any other self insert'...whatever that means.

Basically. He's been told that if he wants to live, then the chapters better not be just copies of episodes with some extra dialogue. If he wants not for something horrible to happen to him or his family. theit must be a different turn of events or resolution to every situation that was an episode of the show. Irregardless of whether the episode ended on a downer, bittersweet, or on a positive note.

He doesn't want bad endings where there was bad ending and vice versa. He'd be satisfied with a happy ending on an episode that had one to start, so long as it was a different kind of one or was the same kind bit reached differently in an entertaining manner...And he only gets to use the simple solution to solve a problem once or twice.

 **"So no, you can't just trick Lincoln into taking you to the movies during brawl in the family...not if you've already done something similar."**

But basically, he just wants to be entertained...Also, Slenderman charges him to get his own interesting character traits.

 **"I want people to actually care about you, instead of groaning about 'another Mary sue self insert'. So be interesting in universe, or I'll stick you in reruns of Allen Gregory for the rest of eternity."** He threatened.

The baby just looked at him blankly, Slenderman sighed. He then snapped his fingers to put info of Allen Gregory into his mind...and sure enough that frightened him.

 **"Right...that about dose it then...see you in several years! Oh, by the way...I was too lazy to think of a name for you, so people will just call you '*******'."**

And thus he left the newly dubed ******** to his thoughts...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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